The Jerry Jones deathwatch thread

[MrB]

I'd rather he went out like the Dukes: suddenly penniless.

Bo and Luke?

 

[TheZoneSucks]

Bo and Luke?

Randolph and Mortimer.

 

[Doomsday]

I have the best possible scenario

We somehow make to and actually win the Super Bowl causing Jerry to have a heart attack and get his eternal flame in the end zone finally lit

It's a win win win win for everyone involved!

That's the worst possible one. Jerry, finally vindicated? 'Anyone can win a Super Bowl with this team?' C'mon now.

Best possible scenario is Jerry gets into massive financial trouble, drinks a lot more, and finally he dies the day after the team is sold to a investor group led by Roger fucking Staubach. And there's NEVER any 'eternal flame,' patch on the jerseys, sticker on the hat, no tribute to this piece of shit whatsoever.

 

[ThoughtExperiment]

I don't even want him to go the day after he sells. Let the team suck so he gets crushed by public opinion, loses a bunch of money, and has to sell. Then after he sells to Roger and sees Staubach revive the team and be celebrated like the hero Jerry wishes he could be, Jerry dies brokenhearted.

 

[ThoughtExperiment]

Oh and an earthquake/F5 tornado destroys his Monument to Himself first, too. Can't forget that.

 

[Doomsday]

Oh and an earthquake/F5 tornado destroys his Monument to Himself first, too. Can't forget that.

I'd really rather have Roger announce his group is immediately building a "real football stadium" and making Jerry EAT the rest of the lease on that lurid, garish parody as part of the sale. Natural disasters mean insurance windfall.

 

[MrB]

That's the worst possible one. Jerry, finally vindicated? 'Anyone can win a Super Bowl with this team?' C'mon now.

Best possible scenario is Jerry gets into massive financial trouble, drinks a lot more, and finally he dies the day after the team is sold to a investor group led by Roger fucking Staubach. And there's NEVER any 'eternal flame,' patch on the jerseys, sticker on the hat, no tribute to this piece of shit whatsoever.

So if/when Jerry goes into the Ring of Honor is this the symbol that goes next to Jerry's name (like Landry's fedora)?

 

[MrB]

I'd really rather have Roger announce his group is immediately building a "real football stadium" and making Jerry EAT the rest of the lease on that lurid, garish parody as part of the sale. Natural disasters mean insurance windfall.

And the "real football stadium" MUST be in Dallas, not some suburb. I still curse that fucking sea hag for thumbing her nose at Jerry. Fucking whore.

 

[Doomsday]

And the "real football stadium" MUST be in Dallas, not some suburb. I still curse that fucking sea hag for thumbing her nose at Jerry. Fucking whore.

Seems like it was a intelligent move, the stadium deal was a screw for the city of Dallas - City owns the stadium and only leases it to Jerry, who also operates it and rakes in all the profits. All the city gets is the lease amount annually. Arlington kissed his ass and went for that deal.

Anyone thumbing their nose at Jerry automatically gets points in my book. Fuck him.

 

[Rynie]

And the "real football stadium" MUST be in Dallas, not some suburb. I still curse that fucking sea hag for thumbing her nose at Jerry. Fucking whore.

Dude, Fuck Laura Miller. I sat next to her and her retarded family once at Gloria's. It took everything in me not to talk to my boy real loudly about how much of a **** she is so they'd hear. They got their entire meal for free because it was her daughter's bday. Why? She wasn't even mayor anymore. She should have paid DOUBLE.

 

[yimyammer]

Dude, Fuck Laura Miller. I sat next to her and her retarded family once at Gloria's. It took everything in me not to talk to my boy real loudly about how much of a **** she is so they'd hear. They got their entire meal for free because it was her daughter's bday. Why? She wasn't even mayor anymore. She should have paid DOUBLE.

Lol, I had a similar type experience.

Me and 3 of my buddies were eating at Houstons (now Hillstones) sitting in a booth. We were all pissed as hell at Waide Phillips and lit him up during our entire dinner. When I got up to leave I notice the guy sitting at the connecting booth (his back to my back) was none other than Wade Phillips.

He had to have heard us, felt kind of bad because he is a nice guy but he had no chance working for jeri

 

[cmd34]

Lol, I had a similar type experience.

Me and 3 of my buddies were eating at Houstons (now Hillstones) sitting in a booth. We were all pissed as hell at Waide Phillips and lit him up during our entire dinner. When I got up to leave I notice the guy sitting at the connecting booth (his back to my back) was none other than Wade Phillips.

He had to have heard us, felt kind of bad because he is a nice guy but he had no chance working for jeri

Nice guy, great defensive coordinator, horrible head coach.

 

[yimyammer]

Nice guy, great defensive coordinator, horrible head coach.

working under jeris contorted organization gave him no shot.

of course that'll be true for any coach

 

[dbair1967]

working under jeris contorted organization gave him no shot.

of course that'll be true for any coach

He'd been a HC other places too and didn't do anything of note. He isn't a good HC. Superb DC, but lousy HC and like so many other Jerruh puppets, couldn't motivate a flea to bite a dogs ass.

 

[Scot]

I'm watching the Cowboys on the NFL Network and they just said Jerry has been the GM for 27 years which is the longest running streak in the NFL

anyone know the win loss record since he took over as GM/owner?

I'm too lazy to crunch the numbers

 

[dbair1967]

I'm watching the Cowboys on the NFL Network and they just said Jerry has been the GM for 27 years which is the longest running streak in the NFL

anyone know the win loss record since he took over as GM/owner?

I'm too lazy to crunch the numbers

I think the number is right at .500 since 1996. So we had the really bad 1989 (1-15) then 7-9, then a bunch of good seasons from 91-96 so he is probably above .500 overall.

But he was GM in name only from 89-93, Jimmy made every decision and move. I wouldn't give Jerry credit for anything in that period except 1) buying the team from loser Bum Bright and 2) hiring Jimmy

 

[yimyammer]

I wouldn't give Jerry credit for anything in that period except 1) buying the team from loser Bum Bright and 2) hiring Jimmy and 3) Writing a million dollar check to get Herschel to go to the Vikings

FYP

(and everyone knows how much I despise jeri)

 

[dbair1967]

 

[Scot]

I'm surprised his record is around .500

It sure as hell "feels" like it should be a lot lower

 

[cmd34]

I'm surprised his record is around .500

It sure as hell "feels" like it should be a lot lower

A few years ago, Jerry West said being a consistent .500 team is the worst thing possible for a franchise. Never good enough to truly compete, not bad enough to get the impact players out of the draft.

Then you add this team's overpaying their own players, trying to be cute in free agency, and sucking at drafting and you see just how horrible GM Jerry truly is. Teams have lapped us in the post-Jimmy era.