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Defense Wins Championships
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The Department of Defense is officially being renamed the Department of War, but President Trump isn't going to stop there. A long list of government agencies is set to get the same treatment.

The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of other departments Trump is renaming:


  1. Social Security Administration: This will be rechristened The Charles Ponzi Memorial Retirement Plan.
  2. Department of Justice: Changed to the far more descriptive Department of Revenge on All the Losers and Haters.
  3. Health and Human Services: Out with the old name, in with the Department of Ribeyes and Methylene Blue.
  4. Department of the Treasury: For the sake of transparency, this will now be called the Chinese Loan Office.
  5. Bureau of Indian Affairs: This will be the Department of the Redskins.
  6. Department of Agriculture: Simplified to the Department of Food and Stuff.
  7. Housing and Urban Development: To be retitled as the Department of the Poors.
  8. Department of Education: No new title listed. Almost as if it won't exist at all. Weird.
  9. Food and Drug Administration: McDonald's.
  10. Department of Homeland Security: From now on, to be known as the Department of the Big, Beautiful Wall.
 

Scot

Pro Bowler
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23c02a73233b759bd37040ed64404571.jpg
 

yimyammer

Pro Bowler
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The Department of Defense is officially being renamed the Department of War, but President Trump isn't going to stop there. A long list of government agencies is set to get the same treatment.

The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of other departments Trump is renaming:


  1. Social Security Administration: This will be rechristened The Charles Ponzi Memorial Retirement Plan.
  2. Department of Justice: Changed to the far more descriptive Department of Revenge on All the Losers and Haters.
  3. Health and Human Services: Out with the old name, in with the Department of Ribeyes and Methylene Blue.
  4. Department of the Treasury: For the sake of transparency, this will now be called the Chinese Loan Office.
  5. Bureau of Indian Affairs: This will be the Department of the Redskins.
  6. Department of Agriculture: Simplified to the Department of Food and Stuff.
  7. Housing and Urban Development: To be retitled as the Department of the Poors.
  8. Department of Education: No new title listed. Almost as if it won't exist at all. Weird.
  9. Food and Drug Administration: McDonald's.
  10. Department of Homeland Security: From now on, to be known as the Department of the Big, Beautiful Wall.
here's the new food pyramid:

2025-09-06_16-51-31.jpg
 
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