I'm a Cowboys fan, and Parcells came onto my radar on September 15, 2003. He almost didn't make it. The year before, Parcells had nearly taken the Tampa job again. "This was the last job I will ever consider," he told Peter King after he turned it down. Twelve months later, Parcells was sitting next to Jones, vowing they could work together.
The idea of Parcells returning to Giants Stadium on Monday Night Football was too good to pass up, so my friend Matt and I bought our way into the game. Just as we got to our seats, Quincy Carter threw a pick-six. It seemed like it was going to be that kind of night. When the Giants kicked a field goal to go up 32-29 with 11 seconds left, Matt and I left. I'm not sure why. Maybe we didn't appreciate how a team with Parcells as its lama could perform miracles. We got to the parking lot and noticed other fans had gathered around portable TVs. The Giants' kickoff had gone out of bounds. Carter completed a pass — a miracle in itself — to Antonio Bryant. Billy Cundiff kicked a field goal and sent the game into OT.
With that, Matt and I turned around and ran back toward Giants Stadium. The guard told us we couldn't reenter, sorry, it didn't matter how good the game was. So Matt and I looked at each other and then blew by the guy, running through the concourse and back to our seats. The Cowboys went on to win, 35-32. It's one of the top-10 games I've ever attended.
Let me give you the starting offense Parcells put on the field that year:
QB: Quincy Carter
RB: Troy Hambrick
FB: Richie Anderson
WR: Terry Glenn
WR: Joey Galloway
TE: Dan Campbell
LT: Flozell Adams
LG: Larry Allen
C: Matt Lehr
RG: Andre Gurode
RT: Ryan Young
That team went 10-6 and made the playoffs.
Parcells was 62 when he took the Dallas job. But he was freshly divorced, and the whole thing had the whiff of a midlife crisis. Parcells was dying his hair blond. He was pulling his shorts up high so they covered his gut. Dallas sportswriters didn't like him at all. They sensed, correctly, that Parcells had no reverence for The Job That Landry Built. When Michael Lewis visited Parcells for a Play magazine profile, he noted that the personal items in Parcells's office consisted of a binder with football materials, a binder with a copy of his divorce settlement, and three elephant figures, which he regarded as lucky charms. It had gotten easier than ever to quit.
By this point, the Parcells Method had been so thoroughly discussed (by him), written about (ditto), and imitated (by Belichick, Tom Coughlin, and others) that it felt strangely postmodern. You could sing along with the insults. On portly safety Roy Williams: "He's just a biscuit away from being a linebacker." To Glenn … who'd miraculously forgiven Parcells and come to Dallas in a trade: "My little honeybunch got a little bursitis on her knee!" (Her?!)
What the local media didn't get was that Parcells was the perfect coach for the Cowboys. He was the first giant talent Jones had hired since Jimmy Johnson. Moreover, the Jones-Johnson creative tension was back. Parcells lived for the unglamorous part of roster-building, like finding tackle Marc Colombo and bringing back Drew Bledsoe. Jones lived for the signings that got Ed Werder out of bed, like Terrell Owens. Here's the lineup Parcells had in his last season:
QB: Tony Romo
RB: Julius Jones (plus Marion Barber)
WR: Terrell Owens
WR: Terry Glenn
WR: Patrick Crayton (plus Miles Austin)
TE: Jason Witten
LT: Flozell Adams
LG: Kyle Kosier
C: Andre Gurode
LG: Marco Rivera
RT: Marc Colombo
"You can't call them losers anymore," Parcells declared at one point. I think he almost got choked up.
Parcells took the '06 Romo team to the playoffs and lost on a fumbled snap. After that, he only had one year left on his contract. Who could guess what would happen next? This time, Parcells quit via e-mail. Wade Phillips replaced him and won 13 games the next season.
Parcells didn't leave football. He teased the Falcons one more time, then became executive vice-president of football operations for the Dolphins. During his first year, another crappy team, led by Chad Pennington, improved by 10 wins and won the AFC East. His hires in Miami didn't work out: Jeff Ireland, Tony Sparano (the new Al Groh). At age 70, there was one tease left. After Sean Payton was suspended for Bountygate, Payton asked Parcells to serve as interim coach of the Saints. But Parcells said no. "I've been out quite a while now," he explained. He'd been out less than two seasons.
I never dug Parcells's bullying, his insults, though I acknowledge they got results. But I'll defend Parcells's career arc to the death. Parcells made decisions based on two factors: (1) his own minute-to-minute spiritual happiness, and (2) the money. Both factors are extremely valid, no matter what any sportswriter says. We fans tend to think of loyalty only as something a coach should give to an owner and the fans. Thanks to George Young, Parcells learned early on that this is nonsense.
Parcells allows us to imagine a hypothetical career arc, too. Imagine the '91 Parcells Falcons, the '02 Parcells Bucs … the '12 Saints with a real coach, a defensive guru to fill the void left by Gregg Williams, and a little of the Parcells magic. It's no wonder Payton thought he was perfect. Bill Parcells was an absolutely genius coach and he would have had no inclination to keep the job.
