Maveric

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May be an image of 1 person and text that says 'Ordinary @OrdinaryAlso Pancake mix is too thick. Adds water. Pancake mix is too runny. Adds mix. Pancake mix is too thick. Adds water. Feeds family 120 pancakes.'
 

yimyammer

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that gave me a flash back to high school

I was at a high school dance, drunk as a skunk and word was getting back to me the principal and vice principal were looking for me to kick me out and no doubt suspend me. I was on the dance floor with a group of guys & gals who were relaying this info and I started to look around the room in a panic trying to figure out how I could escape

You see, they set it up where you could only enter and exit through the main doors which were guarded by teachers, principals, etc so they knew they had me boxed in until I notice out of the corner of my eye a window slightly ajar at the far end of the cafeteria (turned dance floor). So without batting an eye, I did a dead sprint toward that window and made a flying leap perfectly through the opening that was only about 30 inches tall. I dont think I even brushed any part of the window but who knows because I landed in a pile of those chairs you posted that were broken and piled up outside this window (which was about 6 to 8 feet off the ground)

I can still remember (& have sympathy pains) for when one of those steel legs caught me right in the rib knocking the wind out of me but I was so intent on getting out of there I jumped up and hobbled toward the sidewalk where a girl I knew was walking so I grabbed her hand and she walked me back to my truck (which was parked right in front of the entrance to the building and had my cooler full of beer in the front seat, which likely triggered the attention of the powers that be to come after me).

I thank her and bid her adieu and jump in my truck and as I put it in reverse, I look up to see those two principals at the hood of my truck so I give them a smirk and a salute and take off, just barely averting disaster.

The vice principle called me into his office on Monday and said we know what you did but there's nothing we can do about it but we'll have our eyes on you and I said thank you sir, I wouldn't have it any other way as I smiled and sauntered back to class
 
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icup

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the linked tweet doesnt work, what's going on here?
i cant find another video

its a view thru somebodys doorbell cam that shows a delivery man's ass crack as hes dropping the packages off and then he wipes out as he leaves
 
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