Like Fun, Only Different...

dbair1967

dbair1967

Administrator
Messages
61,418
Reaction score
11,319
With the U.S. suspending all military aid amid contentious negotiations for peace, the historically courageous nation of France announced that it would step up and fill the void by unleashing the full might of the fearsome French military to help defend Ukraine from Russia.

The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of things France has pledged to provide to defend Ukraine:

  1. Strategic baguette drops: They can be used as sustenance or blunt weapons, depending on how stale they are.
  2. Weekly shipments of stinky cheese to the front lines: Watch those Russkies flee in search of fresh air.
  3. Squads of Muslim migrants who will stab any white people they see: France is reportedly willing to pledge 3,000,000 military-age Islamic males.
  4. Accordion players to aid in the interrogation of Russian captives: This may violate the Geneva Conventions, however.
  5. Unwashed Frenchmen to create a perimeter with an impenetrable wall of body odor: No one can make it through such a stench.
  6. Provisions for all soldiers consisting of croissants and tiny cups of coffee: Even war doesn't have to be entirely uncivilized.
  7. Cutting edge guillotine technology: They will just have to convince the Russian soldiers to cooperate and climb the scaffold.
  8. Mimes: The French equivalent of the most elite special forces.
  9. Endless supply of white flags: The most important tool of every French military campaign.
 
Doomsday

Doomsday

High Plains Drifter
Messages
22,825
Reaction score
5,702
Amalgamated, Federalizated, Socialistic... Hey I don't know what the fuck it means...


Funniest parody video all time. 1980.
 
cml750

cml750

Facepalm
Messages
2,718
Reaction score
5,250
yimyammer said:
Keep reading...
I listen to the Macroaggressions podcast with Charlie Robinson (HIGHLY RECCOMENDED) regularly. In his introduction he has parts of this meeting added. It is hilarious. Poor little snowflakes.

Anyone who has not listened to Charlie Robinson, you can learn a LOT from him. He also has some great books like The Octopus of Global Control.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom