Like Fun, Only Different...

yimyammer

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Dude.... You're a building contractor...

lol, I KNEW you were going to say that!

I guess I'm rusty and to be honest, I build with a phone and a check book, last time I worked on a job, I fell through the ceiling while laying on my back on the ceiling joists with a sawzaw trying to cut a beam, by total miracle I landed in the one spot in the house where there was a 1/2 inch piece of wafer board that I landed on (pier & beam foundation) and I just bounced. Only damage was the joist smacking me in the head after, here I am on the last day I did any serious labor on a job:

View attachment My fall.jpeg
 

yimyammer

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How bout a "Little Johnny" joke?

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said "today I am going to give you a letter and I want you to give me a word that begins with that letter."

So the teacher says "A" and Little Johnny immediately raises his hand but the teacher knows he will say asshole so she calls on Little Mary and she says "apple."

"Very good" the teacher replied. "Okay, how about the letter B"

Little Johnny once again immediately raises his hand and says "oh, oh, please pick me" so the teacher thinks for a moment and inside her head knows he'll say "bitch" or "bastard", so she skips over Little Johnny and calls on Little Brad and Little Brad replies "boat."

"Very good Brad" the teacher says. "Now how about C" the teacher asks.

Immediately Little Johnny's eyes light up and this time says "oh pick me, pick me l know one" the teacher instantly goes right to Little Bobby and he says "car."

"That's a good one Bobby."

So the teacher does the same thing with the letter D and ignores Little Johnny raising his hand.

She precedes all the way to the letter "R". Realizing there arent many letters left, the teacher pauses for a solid 10 to 15 seconds and can't think of one bad word that begins with the letter E. So she reluctantly calls on Little Johnny and Little Johnny very nicely and calmly says:


"Rat!"

and before the much-relieved teacher can even exhale, Little Johnny puts both hands up out in front of himself approximately two feet apart and yells out:

"A big fucking rat with a cock this long!
 
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