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Fortunately, my statue at the Jailbait Hall of Fame remains, um, "erect."

Skidadl and his "up for anything" wife sound like swingers. You should send in your application.

are you including mental illness?

takes care of you when you're sick

cooking, cleaning, nursing, companionship, second income (assuming she works) etc.

He should go to jail just for being so tone-deaf.

I wouldn't go that far, but yeah, it's grossly irresponsible. No one under 14 should have been there.

Why the hell was a newborn at a midnight showing? Or for that matter, any showing?

Tony should poke out his remaining good eye.

Just because he's white, from the South, and enjoys NASCAR doesn't mean ...

Did I say Dez? I meant his army of enablers and spinmeisters. Are we still gonna be calling him a "kid" at 30?

He's getting a little too long in the tooth to be playing the "bad childhood" card. I was traumatized by not getting an Audi for my 16th birthday, yet turned out just fine.

Actually, I'd like to see where Bob is going with this. He's already managed to combine vaginas with homophobia and anti-Semitism.

awwww

Fuck. Better dump my hot blind GF before she can see me. Thanks a lot, science.

Yo mama so bruised ... that's all i got at the moment

lol @ those who were outraged at Jeff Ireland but are now throwing mama under the bus

For her sake, she should stop hanging out with him. All she got for her trouble was a fat lip.

Who's this half brother? Someone his no-good father created with another hoochie?