dbair1967

Administrator
It has come to my attention that this forum is not doing what it should be to help contain and eradicate the dreaded Covid Chi-Com viruses. I have given this a lot of thought and have decided to instill myself as the official DCU Covid Czar Supreme.

Now rest assured, I will take this responsibility VERY serious and will commit to "following the science" when it comes to guidelines and rules. Moving forward, we will implement the following policies to help "flatten the curve". This should probably take no more than two weeks, but we will re-evaluate at that time and may extend it by 6 months, 1 year or perhaps a full decade.

Beginning immediately:

1) ALL active members of the DCU will report to your closest health care provider, roll up your sleeve and get the first of many Covid vaccine injections. On a weekly basis, I will evaluate the results and decide if you need to get booster shots to help ensure we have a Covid free DCU for all to enjoy.

2) When "viewing" posts, it will now be required that you wear a mask. I came to this decision after seeing our beloved President Biden wearing a mask for a Zoom meeting with other world leaders. President Biden was clearly the smartest one attending this meeting, as he was the only one wearing mask. The science obviously showed that transmitting the Chi-Com virus via the internet was not only possible but very likely, and that's why President Biden wore his mask.

3) It is highly more likely that you will transmit this dreaded disease if you are actually POSTING. Therefore effective immediately you will wear gloves AND your mask while actively typing. I have consulted with the esteemed Dr. Anthony Fauci about this, and he assured me the science supports this decision.

4) It is recommended that you not eat or drink while viewing or posting here at DCU. If you absolutely must engage in this sketchy behavior, you can pull your mask down for a small instant to take a bite or a drink, and then immediately replace the mask. It is also recommended that while engaging in this dangerous behavior that you NOT try and type with your free hand, and this could lead to a much higher possibility of spreading the Covid.

5) In regards to #1 above, it is a known fact that only the unvaccinated are spreading the Chi-Com Covid viruses. Rachael Maddow said so on her show, so it must be true. This is why every single one of you need to immediately comply with the DCU vaccine mandate.

6) We will need to practice social distancing here at the DCU, and this means that there can be no more than 5 people viewing any particular thread at any given time. Violations of this policy may result in removing your posting privileges on a temporary basis.

7) I have analyzed a tremendous amount of data to come to these conclusions. For instance, were you aware that 100% of people that no longer post here at DCU contracted Covid and unfortunately passed away? (Obviously this is true otherwise they would still be posting) Currently the data shows a very high % of DCU members who are Covid positive as well. Now just trust me on this as I can not show the actual numbers, but Dr. Fauci has reviewed this research and concluded both are true and you can sleep well at night knowing he is the absolute expert on this and has only the best intentions for everyone.

8) There will be a very strict anti-Covid propaganda policy. If you or anyone you know posts anything insinuating that Covid is not the end of the world, that Dr Anthony Fauci is corrupt or incompetent, suggests the Democratic Socialist Party isnt acting with only the best intentions etc etc, you be subject to immediate discipline and fines.

You might ask if I am subject to any of these rules and the answer is no, since I am the DCU Covid Czar Supreme. I don't need to adhere to any of these rules or regulations because well, it's different for people in the highest levels of leadership. Just do as I say and not as I do.

Sincerely

DCU Covid Czar Supreme
 

dbair1967

Administrator
Oh one last thing. I am making tremendous personal sacrifices and undertaking a huge health risk to myself as your DCU Covid Czar Supreme.

With that in mind, I find it necessary to take a very modest salary for this, of $250,000 per year. I think we have 10 active members, so each of you will need to transfer me $25,000 via Zelle or something so I can be adequately compensated for my time and personal health concerns.
 

internetking

The Elite :-P
Lol i cant afford that so i am paying u a cent haha joking

penny GIF
 

dbair1967

Administrator
Here are examples of newly approved DCU Covid protection. I have evaluated all the data from this past weekend and we need to step up our efforts. From now on if you want to post OR simply read posts you must be wearing the following attire:

suit.jpg

suit2.jpg
 

internetking

The Elite :-P
Also as of now each post will have to show mug shot of you masking up and your jab card or the qc bar code. And it will be verified with the jab app.
 

dbair1967

Administrator
Also as of now each post will have to show mug shot of you masking up and your jab card or the qc bar code. And it will be verified with the jab app.

We can't be too careful here. I fully support this new guideline.

Safety of DCU matters above all else.
 

dbair1967

Administrator
I want everyone to know that I take this role of Covid Czar Supreme very seriously, and while DCU safety is the primary concern we must also do whatever is possible to encourage diversity and inclusion.

Therefore, I am expanding this operation, and the official title will now be "Office of the Covid Czar Supreme"

Consider this the official job posting announcement for a Level I Covid Disease Officer. In this role, the Covid Disease Officer will assist the Covid Czar Supreme in keeping the DCU safe and Covid free, and this person will have the authority to levee fines, ban members and enforce the rules as needed. He/she/it will also have a role in shaping the official DCU Covid Guidelines as well.

Please respond with your qualifications by COB Monday 1/17 to be considered. Priority will be given to applicants who meet Diversity and Inclusion background ideals.

Regards,

The CCS
 

dbair1967

Administrator
Giving an update on the hiring process, I am POURING through ALL the applicants info to uncover the most talented DCUer to become Level I Covid Disease Officer.

There is so much interest that it might take me days to review all this and make a decision.
 

icup

Super Moderator
TD, I am considering your application for the Level I Covid Disease Officer. If approved, you will be able to help shape our community guidelines around this horrible disease.
my 2 cents again

his username is TOUCHdown. touching is bad and i think it may send mixed signals to anyone looking for guidance from a CDO

i suggest a more covid-appropriate name something like LOCKdown or maybe FlattenTheCurveDown
 

dbair1967

Administrator
my 2 cents again

his username is TOUCHdown. touching is bad and i think it may send mixed signals to anyone looking for guidance from a CDO

i suggest a more covid-appropriate name something like LOCKdown or maybe FlattenTheCurveDown

How about "Fauciisscience" ?
 

dbair1967

Administrator
DCUers, as promised I am staying on top of this dire Covid pandemic. Today, I have uncovered the latest threat in this ongoing crisis.

This one is the gravest threat to date, and the effects are devastating. Zoner-tard Upsilon X3 variant is now amongst us and we must act quickly before we all cease to exist. Just one microbe of this horrible virus could shutdown the DCU forever. Symptoms of the Zoner-tard Upsilon X3 variant include:

1) Extreme homerism, to the point that even after being dominated in a home playoff failure in recent days, the belief is the Cowboys are still better than teams like Tampa Bay, Green Bay and Kansas City.

2) Confusion over the talent level of many Cowboy players. For example, if you or someone you know believes Dak Prescott and Tony Romo are better QB's than Roger Staubach and Troy Aikman, there is a very high possibility of Zoner-tard Upsilon X3 infection.

3) Belief that the owner/GM and spawn of that person , really care about the fans and winning.

4) Incoherent thinking when it comes to personnel decisions. Examples- belief that cutting a career probowl/all pro LT with no backup plan is a smart decision because there would be potential cap savings after June 1st. Belief that a player like Randy Gregory is similar to Charles Haley. Believing scrub practice squad players that no other teams want like Bradley Anae and Isaac Alarcon are being held back by the coaching staff and are far superior to the guys starting at those positions.

5) Thinking that Jason Garrett's process was working, and the development the team had under him was derailed by firing him too soon.

6) Believing that the franchise "panicked and reached for need" when they drafted Micah Parsons instead of an OL like Rashawn Slater

We are uncovering more symptoms every minute and will report on those when we have info. If you believe you have been exposed to Zoner-tard Upsilon X3 variant then you must immediately cease viewing and/or posting at the DCU for 14 days. You need to immediately soak your entire body in Clorox bleach for a period of not less than 12 hours AND you will need to consult with the Office of the Covid Czar Supreme on acceptable protective clothing/attire once you have recovered.

I am also working with the esteemed DOCTOR Fauci and the honorable CDC on potential vaccine and vaccine boosters, that will be specifically designed to combat Zoner-tard Upsilon X3 variant.

Remember, your safety at DCU is our priority.
 

dbair1967

Administrator
well i denied this cause he is a troll

You don't have any authority for that. I am the Covid Czar Supreme and make all decisions around staffing and Covid policy/guidelines.

I do have a position which might be ideal for you though i-king. I will consider posting for this position in the coming days, please stay tuned for details.
 
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