The 2017 Dallas Debacle as I see it.

[Doomsday]

I applied a formula to pick wins and losses on the 2017 schedule. It assumes no major injuries for either team.

• First of all, we're never in shape or prepared for the opener. So that's a L.
  
  
• Week 2 at Denver, one of the best defenses around. No Zeke, we're still not in shape, we falter in the thin air. L.
  
  
• Monday Night game at Arizona. Gonna be a L.
  
  
• We pick up our first win at home Oct. 1 against the Rams. W.
  
  
• Green Bay comes to town and we somehow perform in week 5. W.
  
  
• Bye Week.
  
  
• We're never in shape or prepared for the game after the bye week. 49ers now have sharp GM and a good coach. L.
  
• Zeke's return from suspension marred by a loss on the road vs. the Redskins. L.
  
  
• We respond to Zeke's return at home week 9 against the Chiefs. W.
  
  
• We run into a buzz saw, a offensive juggernaut at Atlanta. L.
  
  
• We whip the Eagles at home on Sunday Night prime time. W.
  
  
• Playing only four days later, we manage to beat San Diego on Thanksgiving. W.
  
  
• Special Thursday Night edition of Sunday Night Football on NBC, we eek out one vs. Washington. W.
  
  
• 11 days off, we're never in shape or prepared after the post-Thanksgiving rest. The Giants sweep us again. L.
  
  
• Sunday Night Football again, we outlast the Raiders. W.
  
  
• We lose a squeaker to the Seahawks at home on Christmas Eve. L.
  
  
• New Year's Eve we just want to get it over with so we can party, and drop a "loser goes home" game at Philadelphia. L

And there you have it, 7-9.

 

[Scot]

I flip your 49'rs and GB picks. We beat the Niners and lose to GB. Then we beat the Eagles to end the season

8-8

 

[Scot]

That's assuming Zeke remains out for 6 games. If he is only suspended 2 games then we will go 10-6

 

[Doomsday]

I flip your 49'rs and GB picks.

We always SUCK after the bye week with Ginger. In fact, after ANY time off with him at the helm. That's a essential assumption of the formula.

I threw the GB win in there merely as a aberration.

That's assuming Zeke remains out for 6 games. If he is only suspended 2 games then we will go 10-6

Nonsense. BUT, that might be how you get your 8-8.

Zeke's not gonna be in shape, he probably fights hammy problems off and on throughout the season. The Boy likes his booze way too much.

 

[Scot]

We always SUCK after the bye week with Ginger. In fact, after ANY time off with him at the helm. That's a essential assumption of the formula.

I threw the GB win in there merely as a aberration.

I know we suck after the bye

But it's the Niners.

 

[Doomsday]

I know we suck after the bye

But it's the Niners.

I don't care if it's the Palo Duro Dons. It's a L.

 

[Scot]

Two words

Brian Hoyer

 

[MrB]

I applied a formula to pick wins and losses on the 2017 schedule. It assumes no major injuries for either team.

• First of all, we're never in shape or prepared for the opener. So that's a L.
  
  
• Week 2 at Denver, one of the best defenses around. No Zeke, we're still not in shape, we falter in the thin air. L.
  
  
• Monday Night game at Arizona. Gonna be a L.
  
  
• We pick up our first win at home Oct. 1 against the Rams. W.
  
  
• Green Bay comes to town and we somehow perform in week 5. W.
  
  
• Bye Week.
  
  
• We're never in shape or prepared for the game after the bye week. 49ers now have sharp GM and a good coach. L.
  
• Zeke's return from suspension marred by a loss on the road vs. the Redskins. L.
  
  
• We respond to Zeke's return at home week 9 against the Chiefs. W.
  
  
• We run into a buzz saw, a offensive juggernaut at Atlanta. L.
  
  
• We whip the Eagles at home on Sunday Night prime time. W.
  
  
• Playing only four days later, we manage to beat San Diego on Thanksgiving. W.
  
  
• Special Thursday Night edition of Sunday Night Football on NBC, we eek out one vs. Washington. W.
  
  
• 11 days off, we're never in shape or prepared after the post-Thanksgiving rest. The Giants sweep us again. L.
  
  
• Sunday Night Football again, we outlast the Raiders. W.
  
  
• We lose a squeaker to the Seahawks at home on Christmas Eve. L.
  
  
• New Year's Eve we just want to get it over with so we can party, and drop a "loser goes home" game at Philadelphia. L

And there you have it, 7-9.

I think we beat Arizona, 49er's, Giants after Thanksgiving, and Philly on New Year's Eve in addition to the other wins you have listed. They finish 11-5 and with the top Wild Card spot.

 

[spiderfan_MJ]

I think we beat Arizona, 49er's, Giants after Thanksgiving, and Philly on New Year's Eve in addition to the other wins you have listed. They finish 11-5 and with the top Wild Card spot.

I agree with this. As a side note the 49ers may actually be worse this year than last year IMO.

 

[yimyammer]

I'm envisioning the season shaping up like this



My only hope is Dak is so good, he rises above jeri, suspensions, et al but one man can only do so much

 

[Doomsday]

They finish 11-5 and with the top Wild Card spot.

We have a cockeyed optimist in the house!

 

[Doomsday]

Two words

Brian Hoyer

Two words:

Dallas' Defense.

Makes every scrub QB look like Payton Manning in his prime.

 

[theoneandonly]

The 2017 Dallas Debacle as I see it.

I'd say if they are 3-3 when Zeke comes back they would be extremely fortunate. They will have 5 conference games left, three of those on the road, probably all three losses. That puts them at six losses already with little margin for error, and I dont believe for second that the offense will be nearly as good the first six games without Zeke. He may be an idiot, but he is a talented idiot that puts the fear of god into defenses and opens up a lot of other stuff.

 

[theoneandonly]

Oh and by the way Dooms, you wont be more than a game or two off.

 

[Doomsday]

I'd say if they are 3-3 when Zeke comes back they would be extremely fortunate. They will have 5 conference games left, three of those on the road, probably all three losses. That puts them at six losses already with little margin for error, and I dont believe for second that the offense will be nearly as good the first six games without Zeke. He may be an idiot, but he is a talented idiot that puts the fear of god into defenses and opens up a lot of other stuff.

That's not far off from the formula I devised, for 8-8 seasons. I just followed tendencies of a Garrett-coached team. Any 11-plus win seasons he has, are just aberrations.

1.) We suck in the opener, out of shape and not prepared for the opponent. 1 loss.

2.) In 8-8 seasons we typically split with the division foes, and either sweep the Giants or get swept by them. So, there's 4 losses total already so far.

3.) We suck after the bye week, out of shape and not prepared for the opponent. 5 losses.

4.) We suck after the Thanksgiving Day rest. 6 losses.

5.) We typically lose to the good teams and usually let at least one of the "bad" teams jump up and beat us. 8 losses.

To all of that I added the also typical loss in the last game of the season when it's "loser goes home." 9 losses, says the formula.

 

[ThoughtExperiment]

My only hope is Dak is so good, he rises above jeri, suspensions, et al but one man can only do so much

And most of all the Great Red Fraud.

But I do think Dak is that guy. He's going to save Garrett's and the Jones' asses the next few years. He's literally going to make Jerry hundreds of millions of dollars.

Because if this team had Connor Cook like it wanted, we'd be looking at a Bills or Jets type run for the foreseeable future.

 

[MrB]

We have a cockeyed optimist in the house!

 

[Scot]

I just hope Dak doesn't get Tony Romo'd and end his career never having won it all

If Garrett remains the coach for his entire career it's more than likely what will happen

Another wasted QB

 

[Doomsday]

Which, is silly. What they actually do is call everything that doesn't fit their meter of "positive," negative. Pretending that even just plain ole bare facts, are 'negative' if they're not necessarily nice. Dishonest with themselves.

 

[Doomsday]

I just hope Dak doesn't get Tony Romo'd and end his career never having won it all

Let's not start pretending Romo is some victim here, and that he didn't have a hand in his own failures and demise.