Greggo's blog on Jerry Jones: Black as Halloween Coal

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May 29, 2013
Posted by greggo
http://greggosgiganticblogandcafe.com/2013/05/black-as-halloween-coal/


It is not too difficult to see Czar Jerry in a witch hat. Standing sentry to the boiling caldron. Directing his own brand of abracadabra, hocus-pocus, voodoo sorceress. His occult ways spread between Valley Ranch and Arlington. Only problem is there are no magical witches. No enchanting spells. In the end it always comes down to realism. Stone cold facts and the fact is, Czar Jerry has morphed into a skilled carnival barker. Shallow sanctimoniousness, but deep enough to launch a dingy of truth and a full crew of believers.

In other words, Czar Jerry is selling blocks of the ocean. And the ticket buying crowd is buying. He is etched in the irreducible matter of principle and common sense. Is it time that we look at Czar Jerry for what he is and what he isn’t.

I’m not sure how long you have to toil in a ‘football man’ apprenticeship, but obviously 24 years isn’t long enough. He is the tour guide of the longest Super Bowl drought in Cowboys history. When Jimmy broke away and handed a full set of keys to Jerry, the Cowboys are one game under.500. His mismanagement is vast and long. Yet every year at this time he bellows of how things are bright. Bigger things are on the horizon. They have re-loaded their armory.



It’s all bullshit!



Coming off a dreadful and uninspired 2012 campaign, Czar Jerry promised changes. And as usual it came in the form of blood-letting on the coaching staff. Low level minions and Rob Ryan. But as far as players, the battle cry is ‘let’s bring the band back and take another shot’. I’d laugh at this notion as a framework for a sit-com. But the Czar is serious. Years and years of total mismanagement, have crash landed the Former Dallas Cowboys. There are no survivors. They’re all gone. And once again Czar allows time to be on his side.

Here is how it works: the season ends. The Cowboy brain trust goes deeply stealth and unavailable. They emerge during free agency. Czar Jerry slowly stirs the pot. Then there’s the draft. At this point in April the Cowboys startscratching the fans itch for football. The carefully crafted boastful boyish bravado alerts the loyalists that training camp is near. Time to get the blue and metallic paint ready. By this time the fans have been whipped into a trance-like zombie longing to rob and pillage. The sight is sickening. I’ve seen years where the lap dog mentality of the media in this town bump all other stores for Cowboys. COWBOYS-COWBOYS-COWBOYS!! I’ve watched as the media interrupts the Mavericks march to a title for the sake of the discussing the battle for the third team safety position. I’ve seen where a meaningless pre-season game (easily the biggest scam in sports) garner four times the audience as the Rangers march toward the World Series. So we are all in this thing together. Czar Jerry, coaching staff, players, fans, TV networks and beyond. It’ll never change. This is a Cowboys town. Josh Hamilton was right. It’s a ram butting heads with a field mouse. The winner is almost pre-determined. It’s the Cowboys way of kidnapping the news cycle. I’ve also seen first-hand as Czar Jerry controlling the media. Especially the flagship. If you like your gig, you’ll follow instructions. Two of my media brethren refused to be seduced by the perfumed inner-thigh of Cowboy. Randy Galloway and Dale Hansen didn’t give in. You can debate the wisdom of the non-conformity, but I love their gallant gutsy move. Both are as popular as ever, and they have evaded sitting on Czar Jerry’s lap and kissing his (ass) ring.

This is the first of a three-part series on the Cowboy’s propaganda machine.

Tomorrow we explore the extraordinary dualities of the Czar.
 

bbgun

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wtf is Halloween coal? I've heard of coal in your stocking at Xmas, but that's it.
 
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Yeah that was a bad read. Still, it bashes Jerry so I like it. Also, I'm hoping future installments provide some worthwhile insights.
 

Jon88

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I'm just amazed at how many times the same article can be rewritten.
 

Theebs

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Greggo really struggling here.

It's all pointless anyway, no one likes Jerry.

So what's the point of continuing.

Also he knows nothing about football, nothing. Listening to him recently and he has only become worse....it was basically embarrassing listening to him discuss the nfl last year on the fan. And he was on the post game show here and there...
 
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Mixed metaphors all over the place. The guy can't keep a thought for more than two lines. I thought he was recovering with the stealth brain trust part but then he fell apart again.
 
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