Script Jerry Jones death

M

Midswat

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This is how I want him to die...

2014 season finale. Win and were in scenario like we've had the past three years.

Cowboys blow a late in the game lead due to more Jason clock mismanagement and terrible playcalling.

Jerry has a massive heart attack as David Wilson/Alfred Morris/Lesean McCoy breaks the plane for the go ahead touchdown with less than 20 seconds on the clock.

Last thing Jerry sees is Jason Garrett on the sideline, hands on hips, head down.

Then he spends an eternity burning in the bottomless pits of hell.
 
peplaw06

peplaw06

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You want Jerry to die by a heart attack?

I'm thinking...

Maybe like Man on Fire where Denzel's character put a bomb in that one dude's asshole with a suppository.

Or maybe his private jet falls apart over the Pacific and Jerry survives the initial crash. He floats at sea for a few months on a makeshift raft of plane parts. From time to time sharks come by and take him apart bit by bit... not to where they kill him the first couple of times they attack. In the process he has a bout of conscience and writes a message in a bottle apologizing to all Cowboys fans for his tyrannical reign of our team. Then he gets torn apart by a school of piranha.
 
NoDak

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I hope he lives another 40 years, and when the final fateful day of his death finally approaches, sells controlling interest in the team to the ghost of Al Davis.
 
NoDak

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Good one, Jon.

But remember this. Even if I did work at Wal Mart, I'd still have a place to live and could see my kids whenever I wanted.
 
ThoughtExperiment

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Some of you guys are way too kind. Pep is on the right track.

Sunday night home opener, everyone in America is watching. Cowboys are losing 17-0. At halftime in front of a national audience, the million ton Vidja board falls, miraculously missing but still injuring a bunch of high school cheerleaders. NBC video goes viral and is shown 24/7 as Jerry is ridiculed and criticized for skimping on his TV mount. Game is forfeited for the first time in NFL history. As Jerry is on the field trying to help clean up he's run over by Rowdy on his four-wheeler, severing his arms and legs and destroying his voice box. He's given a high-tech wheelchair and functions Stephen Hawking-style with an Arkansas twanged computer voice. Families of the cheerleaders sue for jillions for flying glass wounds. It's been a rough week but the disaster got good TV ratings and he still has his stadium.

Couple Saturdays later Jerry is wheeling himself around overseeing the final cleanup as his palace is about ready to host another game. Just as he starts to check the radar on his phone about the dark storm clouds around, an EF-5 tornado drops from the sky and levels the stadium to the ground. Seconds later, a text comes in from Charlotte that Jerry Jr. forgot to pay the insurance premium that month. Jerry looks for a piece of debris to end it all and sees a nice sharp piece of metal from one of Gene's art pieces but has no arms to pick it up. He has nothing anymore and even Larry Lacewell won't take his calls. A group headed by Jimmy Johnson buys the team and immediately wins two Super Bowls. Jerry "Mat" Jones sets a new record for oldest living quadriplegic and dies penniless and miserable. The end.
 
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Jon88

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ThoughtExperiment said:
Some of you guys are way too kind. Pep is on the right track.

Sunday night home opener, everyone in America is watching. Cowboys are losing 17-0. At halftime in front of a national audience, the million ton Vidja board falls, miraculously missing but still injuring a bunch of high school cheerleaders. NBC video goes viral and is shown 24/7 as Jerry is ridiculed and criticized for skimping on his TV mount. Game is forfeited for the first time in NFL history. As Jerry is on the field trying to help clean up he's run over by Rowdy on his four-wheeler, severing his arms and legs and destroying his voice box. He's given a high-tech wheelchair and functions Stephen Hawking-style with an Arkansas twanged computer voice. Families of the cheerleaders sue for jillions for flying glass wounds. It's been a rough week but the disaster got good TV ratings and he still has his stadium.

Couple Saturdays later Jerry is wheeling himself around overseeing the final cleanup as his palace is about ready to host another game. Just as he starts to check the radar on his phone about the dark storm clouds around, an EF-5 tornado drops from the sky and levels the stadium to the ground. Seconds later, a text comes in from Charlotte that Jerry Jr. forgot to pay the insurance premium that month. Jerry looks for a piece of debris to end it all and sees a nice sharp piece of metal from one of Gene's art pieces but has no arms to pick it up. He has nothing anymore and even Larry Lacewell won't take his calls. A group headed by Jimmy Johnson buys the team and immediately wins two Super Bowls. Jerry "Mat" Jones sets a new record for oldest living quadriplegic and dies penniless and miserable. The end.
Keep reading...

:lol

That was great.
 
M

Midswat

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ThoughtExperiment said:
Some of you guys are way too kind. Pep is on the right track.

Sunday night home opener, everyone in America is watching. Cowboys are losing 17-0. At halftime in front of a national audience, the million ton Vidja board falls, miraculously missing but still injuring a bunch of high school cheerleaders. NBC video goes viral and is shown 24/7 as Jerry is ridiculed and criticized for skimping on his TV mount. Game is forfeited for the first time in NFL history. As Jerry is on the field trying to help clean up he's run over by Rowdy on his four-wheeler, severing his arms and legs and destroying his voice box. He's given a high-tech wheelchair and functions Stephen Hawking-style with an Arkansas twanged computer voice. Families of the cheerleaders sue for jillions for flying glass wounds. It's been a rough week but the disaster got good TV ratings and he still has his stadium.

Couple Saturdays later Jerry is wheeling himself around overseeing the final cleanup as his palace is about ready to host another game. Just as he starts to check the radar on his phone about the dark storm clouds around, an EF-5 tornado drops from the sky and levels the stadium to the ground. Seconds later, a text comes in from Charlotte that Jerry Jr. forgot to pay the insurance premium that month. Jerry looks for a piece of debris to end it all and sees a nice sharp piece of metal from one of Gene's art pieces but has no arms to pick it up. He has nothing anymore and even Larry Lacewell won't take his calls. A group headed by Jimmy Johnson buys the team and immediately wins two Super Bowls. Jerry "Mat" Jones sets a new record for oldest living quadriplegic and dies penniless and miserable. The end.
Keep reading...


This got real boring to read but your talk about the wheelchair and robot voice reminded me of the Key and Peele skit Insult Comic. Hillarious. YouTube it.

I bet your post got real good at the end.
 
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