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If Ezekiel Elliott were Rob Gronkowski, we'd be laughing it off
David WhitleyBy David Whitley•Contact Reporter
March 14, 2017, 8:05 PM
Video surfaced Monday of Ezekiel Elliott pulling down a woman’s top at a party. As bad as that was, what makes it mind-blowingly stupid is Elliott knows the NFL is investigating domestic violence accusations against him.
In this post Ray Rice era, that means the Cowboys star has yanked himself into a heap of trouble.
Now let’s play a game of Imagine.
Imagine if Elliott’s history included countless displays of public intoxication; videos of him gyrating his pelvis into women; getting naked and exposing himself to a bikini-clad babe in a GQ photo spread; organizing a party cruise where he autographed women’s bottoms, breasts and who-knows-what-else?
Imagine on top of all that, Elliott had been on a rooftop bar last weekend watching an early St. Patrick’s Day parade. As he sipped a beer, he watched a woman tease the crowd below by pointing at her cleavage. Swept up in the spirit of the occasion, he twice yanked at her top and exposed her breast.
Now imagine if that had been another NFL superstar.
You know what we’d say?
“GRONK! GRONK! GRONK!”
That would be Rob Gronkowski, America’s favorite tight end/party animal.
What’s the difference between Gronk and Zeke?
Gronkowski has never been accused of criminal wrongdoing. But that’s the big strike against Elliott right now — accusations.
His ex-girlfriend made them, but the Columbus, Ohio, police didn’t press charges due to insufficient evidence. The NFL stopped relying on police reports long ago to adjudicate such cases.
Like when Ben Roethlisberger was accused of sexual assault in 2010. Georgia authorities didn’t press charges, but Roger Goodell suspended Roethlisberger and sent him a letter with this warning:
“You are held to a higher standard as an NFL player.”
This begs the question: What standard is Gronkowski held to?
The NFL couldn’t have been happy when porn star Bibi Jones tweeted pictures of herself wearing a No. 87 Patriots jersey and snuggling up to the guy who wears it to work. That 2011 incident was just the beginning of the Gronk Party Tour.
America will always love “Animal House,” and Gronkowski has become our real-life Bluto Blutarsky with his “Zero Point Zero” GPA.
Gronkowski’s no dummy, however. He’s made millions in endorsements by cultivating that image.
Hundreds of fans boarded Gronk’s Party Ship last year, a three-day debauchery cruise to Gronk’s Island in the Bahamas. Gronkowski always steals the show at Super Bowl parades, chugging beers and spiking the cans off the floats.
Everything is justified by, “It’s just Gronk being Gronk.”
The crowd yukked it up and cheered after a Boston awards show. Gronkowski spotted a woman sitting in a nightclub and started twerking into her chest. She seemed surprised but gave him a high-five.
That’s the other key difference with Elliott. All of Gronkowski’s encounters appear consensual, even if consent came after the fact.
Elliott’s victim appeared to laugh off his first yank, but the second time she slapped at his hand before flashing her cleavage to the crowd.
Elliott’s representative told TMZ the woman wasn’t upset and partied with Elliott’s group afterward.
But everybody rightly criticizing Elliott says it doesn’t matter if the woman was upset that a football player turned her into a play toy.
If the NFL holds players to a higher standard than the average barfly, should it matter that Gronkowski’s cavalcade of play toys weren’t upset?
Sure, but only to a point.
I’m not sure where that point is, but I wouldn’t blame Elliott for imagining that if he were Gronkowski, we’d all be yukking this off as just another stop on the Gronk Party Tour.
David WhitleyBy David Whitley•Contact Reporter
March 14, 2017, 8:05 PM
Video surfaced Monday of Ezekiel Elliott pulling down a woman’s top at a party. As bad as that was, what makes it mind-blowingly stupid is Elliott knows the NFL is investigating domestic violence accusations against him.
In this post Ray Rice era, that means the Cowboys star has yanked himself into a heap of trouble.
Now let’s play a game of Imagine.
Imagine if Elliott’s history included countless displays of public intoxication; videos of him gyrating his pelvis into women; getting naked and exposing himself to a bikini-clad babe in a GQ photo spread; organizing a party cruise where he autographed women’s bottoms, breasts and who-knows-what-else?
Imagine on top of all that, Elliott had been on a rooftop bar last weekend watching an early St. Patrick’s Day parade. As he sipped a beer, he watched a woman tease the crowd below by pointing at her cleavage. Swept up in the spirit of the occasion, he twice yanked at her top and exposed her breast.
Now imagine if that had been another NFL superstar.
You know what we’d say?
“GRONK! GRONK! GRONK!”
That would be Rob Gronkowski, America’s favorite tight end/party animal.
What’s the difference between Gronk and Zeke?
Gronkowski has never been accused of criminal wrongdoing. But that’s the big strike against Elliott right now — accusations.
His ex-girlfriend made them, but the Columbus, Ohio, police didn’t press charges due to insufficient evidence. The NFL stopped relying on police reports long ago to adjudicate such cases.
Like when Ben Roethlisberger was accused of sexual assault in 2010. Georgia authorities didn’t press charges, but Roger Goodell suspended Roethlisberger and sent him a letter with this warning:
“You are held to a higher standard as an NFL player.”
This begs the question: What standard is Gronkowski held to?
The NFL couldn’t have been happy when porn star Bibi Jones tweeted pictures of herself wearing a No. 87 Patriots jersey and snuggling up to the guy who wears it to work. That 2011 incident was just the beginning of the Gronk Party Tour.
America will always love “Animal House,” and Gronkowski has become our real-life Bluto Blutarsky with his “Zero Point Zero” GPA.
Gronkowski’s no dummy, however. He’s made millions in endorsements by cultivating that image.
Hundreds of fans boarded Gronk’s Party Ship last year, a three-day debauchery cruise to Gronk’s Island in the Bahamas. Gronkowski always steals the show at Super Bowl parades, chugging beers and spiking the cans off the floats.
Everything is justified by, “It’s just Gronk being Gronk.”
The crowd yukked it up and cheered after a Boston awards show. Gronkowski spotted a woman sitting in a nightclub and started twerking into her chest. She seemed surprised but gave him a high-five.
That’s the other key difference with Elliott. All of Gronkowski’s encounters appear consensual, even if consent came after the fact.
Elliott’s victim appeared to laugh off his first yank, but the second time she slapped at his hand before flashing her cleavage to the crowd.
Elliott’s representative told TMZ the woman wasn’t upset and partied with Elliott’s group afterward.
But everybody rightly criticizing Elliott says it doesn’t matter if the woman was upset that a football player turned her into a play toy.
If the NFL holds players to a higher standard than the average barfly, should it matter that Gronkowski’s cavalcade of play toys weren’t upset?
Sure, but only to a point.
I’m not sure where that point is, but I wouldn’t blame Elliott for imagining that if he were Gronkowski, we’d all be yukking this off as just another stop on the Gronk Party Tour.
