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courtesy of boozeman at dcc

place your bets

admit it: you don't want them to find that plane

The Cowboys are like a destitute single mother who has to explain to her kids why Santa won't be visiting this year. How's that for an analogy?

The strategy is to keep the explosive offense more or less intact, which leads to disappointing yet "exciting" 8-8 seasons and more butts in the seats at AT&T stadium.

Fear not. We still have Heath.

he had a huge stick

Houston area father kills boy he found in daughter's bedroom Thursday, March 13, 2014 10:06 AM EST By Kathryn Yglecias, Senior Web Producer Homicide investigators are gathering evidence after a father shoots and kills a teenage boy he found in his daughter's bedroom. A spokesperson for the...

absent permission, never get out of your vehicle when a cop stops you. old codger should have known that.

They seldom shave down there, and their butts are kinda flat. Also, the sounds they make during sex are weird, like they're being tortured or something.

You can only hope to contain them.

going for broke while Peyton is still healthy

Has had a lot of injuries last couple of years. Shoulder surgery last year, elbow surgery this year... Was wearing down big time. Still an above average player, just not worth what we were paying.

I don't think he warmed to the 4-3 anyway.

Gosselin: In cutting DeMarcus Ware, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones finally learned how to say goodbye Published: 11 March 2014 04:00 PM On Tuesday, Jerry Jones finally learned how to say goodbye. That’s the nature of the NFL in a salary cap world. You can’t pay age. The 49ers made those hard...

Calm down, Loretta. I was satirizing the Zone's touch-feely approach to departed players. I actually feel bad for Ware. All those years of service and he won nothing of consequence.

And he was compensated handsomely for said efforts. No need to hold a pity party for him.