Can You Represent?

Statman · Jun 29, 2015

You are in a room with a Steeler fan and a Packer fan. The Steeler fans goes into a rant about how great the Steelers, they have won the most Super Bowls of any team, they deserve to be recognized as the best ream ever.

The Packer fan decries this blasphemy declaring that Packers rightfully deserve this title, pointing out that NFL football didn't start in the late 60's. They won more titles than the Steelers before they even began playing Super Bowls.

They then turn to you and ask which of them are correct. You diplomatically explain that they are equally flawed in both opinion and intellect and rightfully proclaim the Cowboys as the best ever team in NFL history.

How do you qualify this undeniable fact? What do you tell them?

Doomsday · Jun 29, 2015

Midswat · Jun 29, 2015

I turned the tv off, walked out to the back porch, looked into the night sky and said "We did it, grandma."

boozeman · Jun 29, 2015

Midswat said:
I turned the tv off, walked out to the back porch, looked into the night sky and said "We did it, grandma."

boozeman · Jun 29, 2015

Statman said:
You are in a room with a Steeler fan and a Packer fan. The Steeler fans goes into a rant about how great the Steelers, they have won the most Super Bowls of any team, they deserve to be recognized as the best ream ever.

The Packer fan decries this blasphemy declaring that Packers rightfully deserve this title, pointing out that NFL football didn't start in the late 60's. They won more titles than the Steelers before they even began playing Super Bowls.

They then turn to you and ask which of them are correct. You diplomatically explain that they are equally flawed in both opinion and intellect and rightfully proclaim the Cowboys as the best ever team in NFL history.

How do you qualify this undeniable fact? What do you tell them?

Well, first of all, I don't find myself in a room with a Steeler and a Packer fan.

I have never understood the concept of trash talking to other fans, especially about historical constructs like how many trophies my team has versus theirs.

That just sounds like a dick measuring contest if you ask me. And it is waste of time.

So, since you apparently do relish those interactions, I suggest you bet them a haircut or a bust in the chops the next time they play the Cowboys.

cmd34 · Jun 29, 2015

What if the Sparklets guy calls you because your dog has chased him up a tree? Can the power of your voice calm the beast down?

If not, you are probably not a real man.

Sheik · Jun 29, 2015

Get an avatar, statman. Or gtfo, your choice.

Statman · Jun 29, 2015

You are all a complete and utter disgrace.......

You don't believe in trash talk? You moronic bastards....that's all any of you have....you don't have knowledge of your own team's accomplishments....you have absolutely no standards of excellence, no pride, not a shred of motivation to learn about your own team.

I'll bet you don't even watch the games live. You probably wait until after you spend the day with your wives or girlfriends, or....in Shiek's case...boyfriend, attending the special craft show at the civic center. That is, of course, if she gives you permission.

You wouldn't know Leroy Jordan from Michael Jordan.

I work in an environment where there are people from all over the country and NFL football is one thing many of us have in common and they can't wait to let you know how their team is doing or how bad your team is doing. They bring the smack, all of them! As far as the rest of the NFL is concerned bragging rights is what it's all about.

The actual team isn't the only thing about the Dallas Cowboys that went mediocre over the past 15 years. Docile, head-in-the-sand, please-don't-make-me-think imposters like you have made Cowboy fans the laughing stock of the NFL and you are too stupid to even realize it.

Can't talk smack? Why? Too busy licking King Dez's butt?

Sheik · Jun 30, 2015

My boyfriend and I don't go to craft shows, we go to dog shows.

Sheik · Jun 30, 2015

I've never been a "trash talker". I don't know many people who are into their teams as much as I am.

I mean, I got my hair cut last year by a "cowboys fan" who asked me who the team was going to hire to play QB. I think the last time I trashed talked someone, it was this little Hmong kid named Chong(dude had 11 fingers) who was a Bills fan when I was in like 5th grade. That's how long it's been since this team has made me proud enough to actually "trash talk" someone.

They've been a punch line most if my adult life. Blame them.

Doomsday · Jun 30, 2015

Statman said:
You are all

Painting with way too broad of a brush there, Statman. I'll put bbgun, ThoughtExperiment, SixIsBetter and Dodger12 up against you and any of your Cowboys fan friends you can name for knowledge of the team, its accomplishments and history, and you bet, trash talk on enemy fans.

Once was a day when I was a big trasher of enemy fans too - but alas, Jerruh has taken away most of the joy this team used to bring. In fact I honestly don't want to see it have any real success until at least three years after he fucking croaks. I don't want him to ever sniff a Lombardi trophy while he is alive, and don't want one right after his death either. Don't want the piece of shit getting credit for anything.

That makes me a "bad fan" yeah, I know. It took Jerruh 17 years to make me this way. I would love to gut the mother fucker like a fish, tell ya the truth.

Doomsday · Jun 30, 2015

Sheik said:
Get an avatar, statman. Or gtfo, your choice.

cmd34 · Jun 30, 2015

I love it when people tell me my level of fandom.

I work 40 hours a week, attend school fulltime, coach football, and then with all my free f'ing time come here to discuss the Cowboys. Yeah, I'm a shitty fan.

Doomsday · Jun 30, 2015

Plus, a good many Cowboys fans "represent" with the same quiet dignity Tom Landry had. Being a shit talker really isn't a "fan" qual.

Rock Slamdance · Jun 30, 2015

I like arguing with Cowboy fans. We have far and away the stupidest fans.

SixisBetter · Jun 30, 2015

Statman said:
You don't believe in trash talk? You moronic bastards....that's all any of you have....you don't have knowledge of your own team's accomplishments....you have absolutely no standards of excellence, no pride, not a shred of motivation to learn about your own team.

[h=1]“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”[/h]

Rynie · Jun 30, 2015

Talking shit to opposing fans is half the fun, especially when your drunk gf gets in people's faces yelling, "fuck the Giants!" It's hilarious.

Doomsday · Jun 30, 2015

Rynie said:
Talking shit to opposing fans is half the fun, especially when your drunk gf gets in people's faces yelling, "fuck the Giants!" It's hilarious.

Yep my apologies, I forgot to mention you in my earlier post.

bbgun · Jun 30, 2015

why do I get the feeling that we know statman by a different name? anyway, I like him. he throws me on the bed and has his way with me.

Top Cat 14/4/1 · Jun 30, 2015

To paraphrase TS Eliot.

"December is the cruelest month, breeding
playoff dreams with November leads,
mixing Super Bowl memories with on field
realities for every Cowboys fan."

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